Enchanting Eli

Due to the nature of Jason’s PhD program, we were aware that a period of time researching abroad was an inevitable occurrence.  Deciding to have a baby knowing we would be taking him/her with us was a decision that was easy, yet unnerving.  Both Jason and I have spent decent amounts of time in Latin America prior to this trip; we sort of thought we knew what to expect while living abroad with a baby.  But one of the more comforting thoughts we had about taking Eli with us was that he would be a connection, some common ground; a way to get to know other mothers, other families, other people while we were gone. While we have definitely found this to be true, it has certainly panned out in other interesting ways as well.

To be succinct, Eli is hot stuff here.  Granted, all three of us get a good amount of stares pretty much wherever we are, but the special attention is clearly centered on Eli. A fair-haired, blue eyed baby isn’t seen frequently around these parts.  People smile, and ogle and gurgle and croon and ask his age and his name and want to hold him and kiss him and touch him.  Like, all the time.  At the grocery store and markets.  In restaurants.  On the streets and buses.  In the parks and plazas.  In our apartment complex.  Yesterday an employee at the grocery store was literally kneeling on the floor to be close enough to Eli (sitting in the stroller) so she could kiss his feet and touch his face.  At the market last week, as I was weighing my vegetables, I looked down at him in the stroller and saw a random high school aged girl up in his face taking his picture with her camera phone.  I even caught a very stone-faced older gentleman waving to Eli while we were riding a jam-packed microbus the week we arrived.  The attention used to make me a little uncomfortable, but now I see it more as a reflection of the kind, inviting and baby-friendly Bolivian culture.  Even on a very crowded bus, someone always gives up their seat for the person carrying a baby.  Public breastfeeding is the accepted norm here and it seems babies and children can go absolutely anywhere with their parents, no questions asked.  I’m also learning to roll with the punches as far as the baby touching goes.  Admittedly, sometimes it makes me want to run the stroller in the opposite direction, as I say (yell, perhaps?), “I have no idea who the heck you are. Get your grimy hands off my kid!”  Realizing this would make me even more of a spectacle (not to mention the rudeness factor), I opt for the smile, nod and eventually meander away with the stroller. 

We have also found many people quite willing to share their baby advice with us. A woman at Jason’s friend’s wedding informed me that Eli should not be using a pacifier because “it’s very dirty” and then promptly yanked it out of his mouth.  So far, our favorite advice experience happened on the airplane from Miami to Santa Cruz.  During our layover in Miami, Eli had FINALLY fallen asleep with me in the ergo carrier (after being awake for 5 straight hours prior) and we tried to board early (usually parents with small children are allowed to do this.)  However after waiting in line and finally getting to the front, the Bolivian flight attendant informed us she was sorry, but we were not allowed to board until our group number was called.  Inevitably, during the time we jostled all of our carry-ons and bags to the end of the line and were waiting again, Eli woke up.

By the time we found our seats, Eli was awake, very over-tired and super fussy. In a matter of minutes, despite feeding, toys, singing, etc., he was screaming.  Suddenly, the same un-helpful flight attendant who had not allowed us to board was standing in the aisle next to us.  The encounter:

FA: Is this your first child?? (AKA, you dummy, you clearly have no idea what you’re doing.)

Me: Well, yes actually it is. (Eli continues to scream as Jason and I try to pacify him.)

FA:  I have three children. So your son is probably hungry, tired or gassy. (Genius!)

Me: Yes, he’s quite exhausted. He hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes in the last…

I am interrupted as the flight attendant scoops up Eli from Jason and my lap and begins to walk up and down the plane aisle with him.  He is stunned enough that he stops crying and looks around, bewildered at his new surroundings.  I am stunned enough that I sit back and watch what will happen.  If she thinks she can fix this, more power to her!  After about 5 minutes, the captain announces we’re ready for take-off, so the flight attendant brings Eli back to us. “Yes, he’s very tired” is her unhelpful assessment of the situation.  He is crying again, so we lay him on our laps and start singing, rocking and cooing to him and he actually starts to roll on his side and close his eyes.  In a flash, flight attendant woman is suddenly back in the aisle and tells us, “You need to have him upright for takeoff.  Being flat will be very bad for his ears.”  It is all I can do to not clock her as we ignore her and continue to rock and sing.  He is almost SLEEPING. Thanks, but we’re not actually going to move him to an upright position at this time.  Eli proceeds to sleep soundly, through takeoff, for the first hour of the flight.

Perhaps it was her five minute jaunt up and down the aisle with him that did the trick...